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  1. Woman, 79, May Face Charges in Cane Attack (AP)
  2. Valentine Balloon Blamed for Power Outage (AP)
  3. Police Chief Awakens, Finds Man on Piano (AP)
  4. Police Say Woman Tried to Poison Husband (AP)
  5. Indiana Man, 91, Winds Up in Eastern Iowa (AP)
  6. NHL Makes Final Offer With Season on Brink (AP)
  7. Okla. Pastor Hands $14,000 to Congregation (AP)
  8. Student Charged for Gorilla Mask Prank (AP)
  9. Woman, 79, Charged for Using Cane on Cops (AP)
  10. Panda poo excites experts (Reuters)
  11. Odd Summary (Reuters)
  12. Farmer Paints Pigeons to Ward Off Predators (Reuters)
  13. NYC Sued by Protester Arrested While Dressed as Hummer (Reuters)
  14. Spend But Don't Offend, China Says of Its Money (Reuters)
  15. Sorry not the hardest word for card firm (Reuters)
  16. Defecating Pandas Expand Their Horizons (Reuters)
  17. Tourist Leaves $8,700 at McDonald's (AP)
  18. Man with Tumor Robs Banks for Inheritance (Reuters)
  19. 79-Year-Old Woman Charged in Cane Attack (AP)
  20. Valentine's Day e-card massacre (Reuters)
  21. Irish charity bidders sniff at royal print (Reuters)
  22. *removed**removed**removed**removed**removed* Blood Gets New Meaning with Fresh Study (Reuters)
  23. Irish Charity Bidders Reject Prince Charles Print (Reuters)
  24. *removed**removed**removed**removed**removed* Blood gets new meaning (Reuters)
  25. Town Uses Police Decoys to Slow Traffic (AP)
  26. Woman Overstays Hospital Stay by a Year (AP)
  27. Dog Busts Owner on Marijuana Charge (AP)
  28. Teacher Allegedly Gave Bomb-Making Lesson (AP)
  29. Stolen: Cardboard Bush Likeness, Whiskey (AP)
  30. Family Says Funeral Home Returned Organs (AP)
  31. Drunk Birds Nursed Back to Health, Freed (AP)
  32. Police: Boy Made Hundreds of 911 Calls (AP)
  33. Cops: Man Shoots at Late-Arriving Workers (AP)
  34. Dog Helps Bust Owner on Marijuana Charge (AP)
  35. Marijuana Board Game Weeded From Toy Fair (AP)
  36. Ore. Man Caught in Noodle Mixer Survives (AP)
  37. Dog Helps Bust Owner on Marijuana Charge (AP)
  38. Man Locked Up for Attempted Jail Break-In (AP)
  39. Cops: Man Shoots at Late-Arriving Workers (AP)
  40. Laughing Bank Clerk Humiliates Robber (Reuters)
  41. Retiree Wrecks Police Car with Crutch (Reuters)
  42. Judge Pardons Death Row Dog Dino (Reuters)
  43. Human Lie Detectors Almost Never Miss, Study Finds (Reuters)
  44. Greek Village Eyes Ukrainian Brides (Reuters)
  45. Using Sirens to Pick Up Sirens? (Reuters)
  46. Singapore Enlists Taxi Drivers to Foil Terrorists (Reuters)
  47. Man Fights Off Repossessor with Chainsaw (Reuters)
  48. Notable Quotes (Reuters)
  49. Men More Willing to Sleep with Their Boss? (Reuters)
  50. Judge pardons death row dog (Reuters)
  51. Polka Bandleader Faces Music for Swindling (AP)
  52. Graduation Streaker Exposed to Jail Time (AP)
  53. Models ace ballboys out of a job (Reuters)
  54. Police Search for Foul-Smelling Robber (AP)
  55. Men more willing to sleep with their boss (Reuters)
  56. Would-Be Bank Robber Gets Laughed At (AP)
  57. "Frankenfish" caught in Great Lakes (Reuters)
  58. Lost Pet Falcon Attacks Goose Hunter (AP)
  59. Greeks look to Ukraine for a love match (Reuters)
  60. Drunk Man Steals Plane, Goes on Joyride (AP)
  61. Scientist teaching bacteria to eat caffeine (Reuters)
  62. Hirst's eatery for sale -- skeletons included (Reuters)
  63. Laughing bank clerk humiliates robber (Reuters)
  64. Indiana Commissioner's Car Repossessed (AP)
  65. Pet Lizard Blamed for Causing House Fire (AP)
  66. Underwear monitor warns of strokes (Reuters)
  67. Union leaders spent subs on sex toys and booze (Reuters)
  68. Groom Gets New Heart on His Wedding Day (AP)
  69. Chicken Soup Replaces Flu Vaccine (AP)
  70. Israeli police search for crocodiles pets (Reuters)
  71. Firefighters feel the heat after engine capers (Reuters)
  72. Lipstick and false bosoms were weapons of war (Reuters)
  73. Crazy Horse Strip Club Draws Ire Over Name (AP)
  74. Circus Elephants Trample Homeowner's Yard (AP)
  75. Tears flow as striker beats brother (Reuters)
  76. Odd Summary (Reuters)
  77. Caddies Protest Threat Over Being Too Fat (AP)
  78. Vets in Thailand Pull Aching Tusk (AP)
  79. Man Admits Hiring Taxi to Transport Drugs (AP)
  80. Physics Professor Goes on Rage in Class (AP)
  81. Farmers Look to Curb Foul Smell of Manure (AP)
  82. France tops the sex league (Reuters)
  83. Italy school bans bottom-revealing trousers (Reuters)
  84. Student Civil War Re-Enactor Faces Charges (AP)
  85. Thais face jumbo dilemma in conserving elephants (Reuters)
  86. Sponge Duck Toy Creates Buzz in Tennessee (AP)
  87. Woman jumps on crocodile to save man (Reuters)
  88. Storm in a teacup over free tea (Reuters)
  89. Nearly 50 break out of jail using towel rope (Reuters)
  90. Israel's top cop busts traffic chief for speeding (Reuters)
  91. Papers: Litter Box Full, Woman Sets Fire (AP)
  92. Tiny koala is zoo's star attraction (Reuters)
  93. Aussie politician still has her dancing (Reuters)
  94. New Yorkers still jittery when things go bang (Reuters)
  95. Man stages fake heist to woo back wife (Reuters)
  96. Fugitive phoney Florida doctor nabbed (Reuters)
  97. Gentleman's Club Challenges Nude Ordinance (AP)
  98. Bombay lunch couriers offer Charles a wedding gift (Reuters)
  99. Odd Summary (Reuters)
  100. Wrong Chemical Makes Shoes 'Flatulent' (AP)
  101. Vatican University Debuts Satanism Classes (AP)
  102. Kalashnikov Vodka ditches name in UK (Reuters)
  103. Amazon blames muggles for Harry Potter mixup (Reuters)
  104. Restraining Order Filed in Cookie Case (AP)
  105. Spain Doctor Rebuilds Penises Cut Off for AIDS Cure (Reuters)
  106. Frustrated German Thief Caught Napping Red-Handed (Reuters)
  107. 'Crazy Frog' Ring Tone Set to Be a Single (Reuters)
  108. New York's Celebrity Bird Couple Is Spotted Mating (Reuters)
  109. Bombay Lunch Couriers Offer Prince Charles Wedding Gift (Reuters)
  110. German thief caught napping (Reuters)
  111. Amazon UK to Punish Muggles for Harry Potter Mixup (Reuters)
  112. Lawmakers Seek Civility in Divided U.S. House (Reuters)
  113. New Zealand Man Arrives Naked to Court (AP)
  114. Robber Who Confessed on $1 Bill Gets Life (AP)
  115. Researchers Identify Roach Mating Scent (AP)
  116. Marijuana Board Game Weeded From Toy Fair (AP)
  117. Family Says Funeral Home Returned Organs (AP)
  118. Road Report Callers Get X-Rated Response (AP)
  119. Nude Club Hands Out Pencils, Sketch Pads (AP)
  120. Parents Say Teacher Made Son Use Lysol (AP)
  121. 90-Year-Old Rancher Keeps Delivering Mail (AP)
  122. Priests Get Refresher Course on Exorcisms (AP)
  123. Woman Finds Winning Lotto Ticket in Trash (AP)
  124. Rabid Coyote Attacks Cape Cod Woman (AP)
  125. Strip club artfully slips by anti-nudity law (Reuters)
  126. Rabbi Rules It's Better to Swallow Gum (AP)
  127. Odd Summary (Reuters)
  128. Landlord Tosses Tear Gas Grenade in House (AP)
  129. Man Tries to Toss Cigarette, SUV Ignites (AP)
  130. 1950s Connecticut Diner Moves Back Home (AP)
  131. Strip Club Artfully Slips by Anti-Nudity Law (Reuters)
  132. China Rings in New Year with 11 Billion Messages (Reuters)
  133. Kennedy Knickknacks Sell for Big Bucks in NY Sale (Reuters)
  134. Beauty Salons Busted for Misleading Ads (Reuters)
  135. Sex Czar Cleans Up for Parliament (Reuters)
  136. Typo Sends Callers to Phone Sex Line (AP)
  137. Cafe Worker Finds $100,000 Lottery Ticket (AP)
  138. Blockbuster sued over late fee claim (Reuters)
  139. Killing cockroaches with "come-hither" scent (Reuters)
  140. Google "library" sparks French warcry (Reuters)
  141. Hanging Robots to Help Demolish Gutted Tower (Reuters)
  142. Cockroach 'Come-Hither' Scent Could Conquer Them (Reuters)
  143. Philosophical Society Dusts Off Collection (AP)
  144. Ind. Woman Finds $100,000 Lottery Ticket (AP)
  145. Nudists dine in New York style (Reuters)
  146. Calif. County Wants Pot Certified Organic (AP)
  147. Berlusconi "buffoon" heckler fined (Reuters)
  148. Road Report Callers Get X-Rated Response (AP)
  149. Stolen Cutout Patrol Car Back on Duty (AP)
  150. Naked Man Flashes Cars on Chilly Highway (AP)
  151. "Alive" crash survivor's I.D. found (Reuters)
  152. Odd Summary (Reuters)
  153. Gorilla's Keepers Sued Over Breast Request (AP)
  154. Coroner Wants to Shrink-Wrap Bodies (AP)
  155. Women sue over monkey business (Reuters)
  156. Krajicek dismayed by son's dream (Reuters)
  157. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner Naked? (Reuters)
  158. Women Sue Over Gorilla's Breast 'Fetish' (AP)
  159. Bush once taken for "Scottish boy" (Reuters)
  160. Inmate Released by Mistake Goes to Prison (AP)
  161. Mistakenly Freed Inmate Returns to Prison (AP)
  162. Landlord Allegedly Tosses Tear Gas Grenade (AP)
  163. Swazi king bans pictures of his many cars (Reuters)
  164. Odd Summary (Reuters)
  165. Rescuers Surprised to Find Plane Survivor (AP)
  166. Rescuers Surprised to Find Plane Survivor (AP)
  167. Odd Summary (Reuters)
  168. Did Bush smoke pot? (Reuters)
  169. Masked man shells out for licence plate (Reuters)
  170. S.Koreans want to stop paying for national anthem (Reuters)
  171. Severed penis retrieved from toilet is reattached (Reuters)
  172. Syracuse Falls Short of Snow Angel Record (AP)
  173. Get me to the church on crime (Reuters)
  174. Student Puts School President on EBay (AP)
  175. Woman Ill From Marijuana-Seasoned Chicken (AP)
  176. Skydiver, 96, Hurt in Bid to Set Record (AP)
  177. Thieves Steal Built-In Swimming Pool (AP)
  178. Student Puts School President on eBay (AP)
  179. Pitt and Aniston separate - again (Reuters)
  180. Bush says Chirac might make a good cowboy (Reuters)
  181. Nude Man Steals, Wrecks Philly Police Car (AP)
  182. Odd Summary (Reuters)
  183. French fries back on menu for Bush (Reuters)
  184. Huge Fiberglass Boot Stolen From Yard (AP)
  185. Designer fashion for Korean homeless (Reuters)
  186. Latvian Man Asks to Be Let Back Into Jail (AP)
  187. Drug Suspect Dressed as Bishop.... (Reuters)
  188. Severed Penis Retrieved from Toilet, Reattached (Reuters)
  189. Women Allege Monkey Business Caring for Gorilla (Reuters)
  190. Notable Quotes (Reuters)
  191. Best-Dressed Homeless in the World... (Reuters)
  192. Weak arm of the law (Reuters)
  193. Leader to Police: Toughen Up! (Reuters)
  194. Pitt and Aniston Separate - Again (Reuters)
  195. Malaysian State to Offer 'Happy Toilets' (AP)
  196. Alaska Woman Charged in Genital Amputation (AP)
  197. Police Pair Nab Robbers on Way to Nuptials (Reuters)
  198. Masked Man Pays $910,000 for Lucky License Plate (Reuters)
  199. Mich. Students Offered Cash for Tours (AP)
  200. Court Rejects Appeal on Sex Toy Sales Ban (Reuters)
  201. Ravenous rodents knock out Swedish phones (Reuters)
  202. Dutch firm offers to break hearts (Reuters)
  203. Dummer Academy Name Change Sparks Outcry (AP)
  204. Boarding School to Drop 'Dummer' From Name (AP)
  205. U. of Mich. Offers Clean-Room Bonuses (AP)
  206. British Gum Summit Proposes Gum Tax (AP)
  207. Key West Prosecutor Faces Streaking Charge (AP)
  208. Paris Hilton exposed on Web again (Reuters)
  209. Odd Summary (Reuters)
  210. Japanese students can't place N.Korea (Reuters)
  211. Ga. State Senate Votes to Honor Frogs (AP)
  212. Beer Commercial Featuring Shotgun Is Banned (Reuters)
  213. US-Cuba Hostility Turns to Cartoons, Time Capsules (Reuters)
  214. Hungry Field Mice Knock Out Phone Network (Reuters)
  215. Alaska Woman Charged in Genital Amputation (AP)
  216. Ore. Seniors Allowed to Play Bingo Again (AP)
  217. You Wear Extra-Large Panties, Right Honey? (Reuters)
  218. Hint: It's Above South Korea (Reuters)
  219. N.Irish artist plans Titanic iceberg stunt (Reuters)
  220. Burning Manure Pile in Nebraska Goes Out (AP)
  221. Artist Plans Titanic Iceberg Stunt (Reuters)
  222. Two Policemen Rewarded for 'Integrity' (Reuters)
  223. Paris Hilton Exposed on Web After Phone Hacked (Reuters)
  224. Teaching Intern Accused of Sex With Teen (AP)
  225. Robbery Suspect Arrested After Radio Talk (AP)
  226. Dutch Customs Seizes Elephant Parts (AP)
  227. Tiger Shot, Killed Near Reagan Library (AP)
  228. Thompson's Ashes May Be Shot From Cannon (AP)
  229. Dutch Customs Seizes Elephant Parts (AP)
  230. Docs Work on Monk Who Glued Eyes Shut (AP)
  231. Thompson's Ashes May Be Shot From Cannon (AP)
  232. Naked frolic lands prosecutor in jail (Reuters)
  233. Odd Summary (Reuters)
  234. Man bites dog (Reuters)
  235. Hunter S. Thompson Said Spoke of Suicide (AP)
  236. Thompson Spoke of Suicide, Family Says (AP)
  237. Naked Frolic Lands Prosecutor in Jail (Reuters)
  238. Unbelievable... (Reuters)
  239. Bin Laden -- a Brand You Can Trust (Reuters)
  240. Blind Man Who Bit Guide Dog Charged (AP)
  241. Cigar Aficionados Let Down by Cuban Smoking Ban (Reuters)
  242. Police: Man Kills 2 Kids, Slits Own Throat (AP)
  243. Son: Thompson's Suicide Was Not Surprise (AP)
  244. Court: Man Can Sue Over Surprise Pregnancy (AP)
  245. Burglars Summon Police When They Lose Keys (AP)
  246. Court deals blow to German beer law (Reuters)
  247. Video mocks bugging Cuban police (Reuters)
  248. Court: Man Can Sue Over Surprise Pregnancy (AP)
  249. 1972 Crash Survivor's Wallet Recovered (AP)
  250. Fake New York Transit Worker Pleads Guilty (AP)