Haggis Myths

It is in the nature of the haggis that it should be a creature shrouded
in mystery. Over the years many misconceptions have developed about
these reclusive creatures. Here we are happy to debunk the most common
myths and set the record straight.

A haggis is just a sheep’s stomach stuffed with meat and oatmeal.
The most common mistaken belief about the haggis is that it is some
kind of pudding made from sheep innards. This somewhat macabre idea
dates back many centuries. Its origins lie in a Pictish fertility
ceremony which featured a parade of creatures known to produce large
numbers of offspring. The haggis was one such animal. However, as
hunting techniques were not as sophisticated as they were then and -
for reasons explained in The Haggis in Scotland’s History - haggis
numbers were low, the Pictish priests often had to make do with a model
for these ceremonies. Said model haggis was made from an inflated sheep
bladder, hence the myth.

They have one leg shorter than another.
This misconception originated with a respected English commentator.
However, the haggis’s legs are all the same size. Any apparent
difference in length could be due to the haggis’s habit of standing in
a bog to confuse predators. Quite why this would confuse a predator is
unclear as the haggis would be unable to run away, being as it is stuck
in a bog.

Its hurdies are like a distant hill.
A haggis is rarely larger than a foot long. It has a gentle rounded
shape and a soft consistency. How it is like a geological feature quite
escapes us. Suilven is a distant hill. It is 2,399 feet high and made
from unforgiving glacier-scarred rock. Pretty unhaggislike, you would
agree. We suspect that this one is down to poetic licence.

Haggii live with the monster in Loch Ness.
This is nonsense. Haggises are not aquatic. They are also extremely
wary of any creature larger than them and would not consort with a
large carnivore, even one supposed to be mythical. There is also
nothing to suggest that there is any truth behind the rumour that
swimming with haggises strapped to your feet will prevent monster
attacks. There have been no recorded attacks on anyone by the Loch Ness
monster, haggis attachments notwithstanding.

--
zaax

[hutoikopun]

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